Off Track Weekend

Its always so much better to write about when everything is going well, but I think its a bit cathartic to write about times your struggling as well. I felt so good to wake up Friday and not be hung over lol! I went to work feeling good, but as soon as I got there I got an email that I might lose my Rec Tech. I was really bummed and stressed. I had just agreed to a whole bunch of work based on having him around and looked like he was going to go to a different program area. Him and I work very well together and I didnt want to have to hire someone else, train them up and really I dont have time for that right now with a big project I have taken on. Also every email that came in seemed to be unhappy and piling on more work and more grumpy people. 

I was excited to get out for a run at lunch because that always de-stresses me and perks me up. I ran the Paper Chase race route with my running buddy at a nice leisurely pace. 

The run was good but I returned to the office with a serious case of the sads. This never happens to me, especially not post-run! I'm blaming being overtired still, overwhelmed and I honestly believe putting so much alcohol and junk in my system the week before had a negative impact not only on my physical health but on my mental health as well! 

I did not cope well with how I felt and ended up consuming a ridiculous amount of cake (seriously gross grocery store cake!) in attempts to cheer myself up. Oh and also a bowl of Kimchi, because why stop at just cake...lol. Then I just felt gross and sad...yay! I was trying to prepare for an hour long presentation I had to give Monday night but other work kept coming up. By the end of day I didnt really have it prepared and that stressed me out further. I am not a comfortable public speaker. I do it often enough as part of my job but I hate it and it gives me a knot in my stomach the few days before hand. I like to be very prepared for those kind of speeches as that helps me feel more calm about it. So having that unfinished did not help things. I felt on the verge of tears the whole car ride home. 

I got through dinner, got the kids to bed and bailed on the night. Crawled into bed by 8:30 cause I didnt want to deal with anything. So, yeah... Friday sucked! 

Saturday I woke up feeling a bit better. It was a busy family morning with skating lessons, and gymnastics. I arranged for a playdate for the kids so I could work on my presentation. It ended up taking 4hrs to put together so that took up the rest of the day. I didnt make the best food decisions on Saturday either. A muffin at Tim Hortons, half a bag of Pepperoncini chips... Once you eat crappy for a few days in a row its so hard to turn it around and get back on track even though you feel so much better when you do...so frustrating! Its like you feel bad and then your brain tells you to make yourself feel better by eating more bad food which then makes you feel bad again...brains can be jerks sometimes!

Sunday I finally got myself completely out of the funk I was in. I got up and got out for a long run. It was a bit of a mental battle as I didnt get my usual runners high and I forgot my gel. But I stuck it out and did the half-marathon distance.   

It was also Global Hug A Runner Day :)

(me and some of my racing peeps)

I got back on track food-wise and made healthy choices all day. Got the house cleaned, laundry done, groceries bought, made a big batch of soup for lunches for the week. Just felt like myself again. Getting a bit de-railed sucks. I know it happens and I try not to be too hard on myself. I just need to remember that cake is not a coping mechanism ;)