Mom guilt

Yesterday morning started like this...

Sometime mornings like that are frustrating and I snap at the kids but yesterday all I could do was laugh. Maybe because it was Friday and I knew I didnt have anything crazy going on at work or maybe its just zen-running-again-Jess. But, I have come to the conclusion that there is not enough hours in a day to be successful at all aspects of life. I would love to be an awesome mom, great Rec Officer, make all home cooked meals, exercise as much as I want to, keep a clean house, go to all the kids school events, be on top of the laundry, have a social life, grow my own veggies, etc, etc... But unless I take up a serious amphetamine habit that isnt going to happen. Its just not possible to get it all done and I think as moms and especially working moms there is a lot of guilt around letting things slide. 

So I pick the things that matter the most to me. My kids, my job, running and eating healthy are my priorities. These take up so much time. The food one especially since I do all of that. The meal planning, grocery shopping, food prep, cooking and packing lunches takes hours a day. I meal plan and grocery shop on Sundays so I dont have to think during the week. I know each day what we are having for dinner which is required when you get home from work at 5 and eat at 5:30. I also make a running a priority. I figure out our weekend plans and an important part of that is when I can get a run in. Obviously plans go astray sometimes but I do what I can to make sure I arrange with Connor when I will be running. Trust me my whole family is happier when I have gotten my run in :)

Those are the pieces I feel good at. But in order to make all that happen there is shit that does not get done. That I wish I could but in the grand scheme of things they just continually fall of the plate because at the end of the day I am tired and there is just not enough energy or time. Laundry...piles of freaking laundry. I cannot wait until the kids are old enough to do there own. Tegan is always shouting in the morning that there is nothing in her drawers. My kids wear unmatching socks more often than not as laundry is still unfolded in a bin and I cant be bothered to find the pairs...this one drives my mother crazy :) We have cloth placemats and by the end of the week Tegan is setting the table with the least dirty ones...or Connor and I are using Hanna's plastic Paw Patrol ones.  

Sunday laundry...the bane of my exisitence

I also dont make it to the majority of the school assemblies, field trips, open houses, PTA meetings. They are during work hours and I have a full time job and I'm often working at least an hour out of town. My daughter has before school care and after school kids club. So next week during Parent-Teacher interviews will be the first time I even meet her teacher. Her class is singing in the Remembrance Day assembly next week and I was hoping to go, but I found out yesterday I've got to head down island now for a meeting :( During the summer Tegan excitedly/happily told a whole bunch of people that she was always the first kid dropped off at camp and the last one picked up...pretty low moment as a parent with that one!

Then there's the house mess. If I have an hour of free time and the house is a disaster I will go run. Its a choice I make to prioritize me and running over cleaning. I can handle a messy house. I dont like it, but given the choice 9 times out of 10 I will go run. My sister is a very neat person. She cannot handle mess and keeps a very tidy house. She also talks about not having the time to exercise. Its all about what you make a priority. We've got a cleaning lady now which helps, but if you come to my house during the week...

I've got my fingers crossed that as the kids get less dependent some of these things will become easier, but in the meantime I just do what I can and try not to feel like a failure when I see other moms excelling at pieces of life that I clearly do not have a handle on. Besides I may constantly be losing my key cards, iphone and purse...but I can throw pinterest-worthy themed birthday parties for my kids so thats gotta count for something right? 

(Hanna's "basket of strawberries" cake for her strawberry themed party)

Yesterday as I drove the kids to daycare/school Tegan made me stop to take a picture of the sunrise. The picture doesnt really do it justice, the whole sky was this beautiful pink and red :)

It was a great day to get out for a run and my running buddy and I decided to run the Port Alberni Paper Chase route. Its an old race that they stopped for a couple years but are now adding back into the Vancouver Island Race Series. Its perfect because it starts a couple blocks from my office so I'm hoping to get some good practice on it before the race. Its a pretty course, through some wooded back roads with a lot of rolling hills. We took it easy just to get a feel for the course, but I'm excited to use it for training. 10k and no foot pain...yay!!